Give a Lot

They say it is better to Give than to Receive.  This is so very true.  Subconsciously, one is receiving when he is giving.   And one secret to receiving more blessings is to Give a Lot.

I used to hoard things at home when I was young - in grade school (my mother said so, but I cannot anymore remember, hehehe) and high school. Even with my old stuff, I refuse to give them away.  I don't know why but I just like to hold on to them.  But as I matured, I've learned to give some and then more.

Probably, my mother's generosity eventually has rubbed on me.  Growing up I watch my mother selflessly giving to those who has less than us.  Even though my father's salary was just enough for our basic needs, she still find ways to give.

And when I was already working and have money of my own, I have experienced many times how blessings return a hundredfold when you start to give, and a lot.

I could remember way back in high school and through college during Christmas time, my sisters and I would pack candies, biscuits and 20-peso bills in small cellophane for my cousins in Zamboanga del Norte which my grandmother and aunt would bring home with them.  And when I already started working, we included clothes and other stuffs.  My sister would bake a cake for them.

With the devastation caused by Typhoon Sendong, I became a witness to the generosity of people who offered their time, effort and money in helping the victims of the flood.  And I have two very good examples of generosity at a time of need.

The owners of Jacko's Carwash and Kan-anan.   The family lived in Luinab and their house was not affected by the typhoon.  But, their Carwash, located at National Highway, Barangay Hinaplanon,  was badly hit by the flood.  And it was just newly renovated.  The tutorial center of their daughter was just newly built, about 2 months.   Fortunately, the kitchen area of the Kan-anan was spared.  It was still intact.  To which the owners said that it is a sign that they will still continue their business.  :-)

 Water level outside Jacko's the morning after the typhoon.

 

 

 Front of Jacko's Kan-anan. The kitchen is the orange room.

 

 Tutorial Center, totally damaged including all the equipment/appliances inside

(photos grabbed from Facebook Page of Lovette Jam Jacosalem)

What's amazing for me is the way the owners still thought of helping the other victims in spite of the fact that they too are victims.  On December 18, they cooked food good for 100 persons and Pat and I and other IBS members helped in delivering it to San Lorenzo Parish Evacuation Center.  And as if not yet satisfied, they made three more sets of meals for the other evacuation centers which was delivered on separate dates - 2 sets of 100 packs and 1 set of 300 packs.   This is what I only know of personally, but I heard, they gave more than just these packed meals.   Wow, really amazing.  

Lolly, My Mother.   I have mentioned earlier how I grew up with my mother's generosity.  I thought after what happened with them in Bayug after the typhoon, I'd see a different mother.   But was I surprised.

My mother, collecting the stuff they could still use.

About five days after the typhoon, after all the mud inside the house have been cleaned and my parents and sisters have somehow settled, my mother decided to go to Bayug riverside to check on her friends if they are alright.  And to know how she can help them.  My mother, father and sister argued over this issue.  My father and sister would not want her to go because it might give her more stress as she has not yet fully rested from all the cleaning and sorting of flooded stuffs in the house.   But she insisted.   So, for two days she went out helping her friends.  When I learned of this, I told her not to go out anymore because she needs to rest.   But she was not convinced so I suggested to her that if she really wants to help, she can join our group.  I thought that I could watch her if she's with us.  But she declined. She said she doesn't know the people we are helping.  She prefers to help her friends in Bayug. 

I thought the situation over.  And on December 24 I told her that if she really wants to help her friends, I'll help her.  We decided that since it's going to be Christmas, she can cook some food on the 25th and they shall give it to her friends in Bayug riverside before lunchtime.   At least, even with the calamity, they'll have something special on Christmas Day.  My sister shared the expenses with me.  My mother was so happy.  Aside from this, she also would patiently fall in line in their area for the relief goods given by different groups.  If they already have the items in the house, she'd give these items to her friends who also needs them.    :-)

It is good to give when one has so much.  But it is heartwarming and joyful to give when you only have enough or less yet you managed to give.    The joy of giving is seeing the happy face of the recipient.  And knowing that in some way or another you've helped ease something in his life.  

To Give a Lot is when we give to people who cannot in any way repay us.   This, for me, is the true essence of giving.  So, Give a Lot today and experience happiness!   :-)

 

Rule 4 : Expect Little

What does it mean to Expect Little?

For me, it means lowering your standards of people, of things, of events, etc.  When one expect little,  there is less frustration, less disappointment.   When we expect little, we sometimes get surprises beyond our imagination.

You go to a gathering, and you imagined the activities in your mind before it happens.  You get excited.  But when you get there and the activities started, you find out what you imagined didn't happen.  What you imagined wasn't there.  You get frustrated.  You'd think it was a dull event.  You'd think you wasted your time going there.  And you go home unhappy, unsatisfied.  But when you don't expect or you expect little of what would happen, and yet you witnessed something good you didn't expect.  You'd say you experienced something extraordinary.  You'd be happy.    This happened to me during the Blogfest Soccsksargen 2.0 in General Santos.  As it was my first time to attend the blogfest, I didn't expect extraordinary but the usual presentations of the speakers.  So I was WOWed with what I witnessed during the day.   The fun and the laughter was just really great.  

And expecting little is most specially important in dealing with people.  I know.   I have this guilt with me for so long now.   I tend to judge people.  I tend to expect much from them.  And when I don't get what I expect from them, I get frustrated.  I get angry at them.  I know it's not good.  It's not healthy.  So, for some time now, I have been doing my best to Expect Little from people.  When I expect little, it saves me from the stress of disappointment and frustration.  I become more at peace, more happy.   :-)

However, to Expect Little doesn't mean to be negative or to be pessimistic.   Pessimist or negative people are not happy.  They are always stressed out thinking of the negative things in life.

And to Expect Little doesn't mean also to dream little.   To dream is to hope.  We can expect little but we must dream big and hope for the best.   :-)

- - - - - -
For this blogpost series, I am supposed to tag 5 people so they may also write something about the topic. And learn from them also.   God bless everyone.

Anna Oposa |  ANNAlysis
Eileen Campos |  Possibly Pinay
Aileen Apolo-de Jesus | An Apple A Day
Berniemack Arellano  | Habagat Central 
Arlene Collado |  Joys in Life 

Rule 3 : Live Simply

Ahhh... This is a debatable rule.  Some people would jokingly equate Living Simply as "walay panutbrush" - meaning, when one doesn't brushes his teeth, he's living simply.  So untrue, of course. 

For me, to Live Simply is to live a not complicated life, though life itself is complicated.  Huh? How can one live a not complicated life when life is complicated.  This sure is confusing, hehehe...Explaining this is harder than I thought. Tsk tsk tsk...

So as not to complicate life (hehehe), might as well tell you how I Live Simply in my own little way. 

I'd say, I live within, or most of the time, below my means.  Meaning, I spend less than what I earn.  And to spend less than what I earn, I mostly buy things I only need.  I don't buy things just because I want it.  Though at times, I have to admit, I have the tendency to be an impulse buyer.  That is a reason I don't have a credit card. I don't like to spend on things that I will only regret.  Actually, I have done this many times in the past.  But now, I know better.  Whenever I go window shopping, I don't bring money with me.  This way, I'll have time to think things over and to choose the best.  And most likely, when I delay my purchases, I'll realize I don't anymore want the things I want.

Whenever I want something that I also need but not at the moment.  I saved up for it.  So, I also enjoy things.  I also give myself gifts.  But in a way that will not drain my financial resources.   So, I save some of my earnings.  I save consistently every month.  And what's left of my earnings is what I spend on my daily needs for the month. 

I don't buy "branded" items.  Would I look differently in a P3,000.00-worth pants than in a P500.00-worth pants?  Nope.  A P3,000.00 pants won't make me look sexy.  It will only give me stress when it gets stained, hehe...

Would I look more beautiful wearing a P1,000.00-worth earrings than a P50.00-worth earrings?  Nah..I don't think so.  I don't have allergies anyway.  And these are only accessories I wear on special occasions (mostly, once a year, hehe).   And with a P50.00 earring, it won't bother me  if it gets lost.  :-)

Cellphones?  Hmm.. I've had a few cellphones.  But, I always buy the low-tech ones.  Meaning, not so many features in it.  As long as I can call and I can send messages with it, it's fine with me.   I don't like to buy cellphones with so many features, yet I won't be using it.  It would just be a waste of my money.  Besides, I'd be stress of the thought that somebody might snatch it or stole it from me.   Simple features of cellphone = less expense = less stress, hehehe...    I have to say though, my cellphone needs to be small, so it fits right with my hand when I hold it. :-)

Pat and I stopped our subscription with Dream Satellite.  We have a TV at home but only use it to watch movies in DVD or CD.  We can't watch shows on TV channels anymore.  We decided to do this because we only get to watch TV shows a few hours a week.  Sometimes we don't watch any for a week.  We have internet and DVDs.   So, spending P890.00 per month is such a waste of money.   If we see the expense each  month only, it seems that 890 is not that big.  But what make me rethink is when I added all up the 10 months that we've been spending 890.  That is a total of P8,900.00.  Wow!  That is definitely too much for me for just watching TV shows.   So, that was the end of it.   The next month, we didn't anymore subscribed.  Aside from being a waste of money, it's also a waste of time.  I don't get productive just watching TV.  It has been, I think, 3 years now that we have not seen TV shows at home.  And it never bothered us.  We realized we could live without it.  And without the TV shows, I am able to do more things that are beneficial to me and Pat.  Like...  writing this post, hehehe....

But I like to watch movies with Pat from time to time, for the reason of  "bonding".  We could snuggle.   We would talk about the movie.  Exchange of views.  We get to learn more about each other.  And we discover the similar likes and dislikes we have towards movies.  :-)

I don't need to dine in expensive restaurants just to have a date with Pat.  Watching a movie with him. Strolling in the park.  Watching the sunset.  Sitting on a bench.  Standing in the sidewalk eating squid roll (for Pat, it's fish ball).  These are just some of the simple pleasures in life that I enjoy most. 

To Live Simply is, for many, easier said than done.  When you are yet confused with what you want in life.  When you are still struggling to find your purpose, your goal, your mission.  You'd think you just can't seemed to live a simple life.  Because you'd want to have all. 

For now, I still can't say I totally Live Simply.  But I am getting there.  Living Simply is a commitment.  And it becomes a lifestyle.  And when you Live Simply, unconsciously, you let others simply live.  And, this, will be another topic.  :-)

- - - - - -
For this blogpost series, I am supposed to tag 5 people so they may also write something about the topic. And learn from them also.   God bless everyone.

Anna Oposa |  ANNAlysis
Eileen Campos |  Possibly Pinay
Aileen Apolo-de Jesus | An Apple A Day
Berniemack Arellano  | Habagat Central 
Arlene Collado |  Joys in Life 

Rule 2 : Don't Worry

"Don't Worry, Be Happy".

This has been the phrase I often hear from older people who have lived and experienced life for so many years. So, why do they say we don't need to worry? What exactly is to "worry"?

WORRY, according to Dictionary.com is to "torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts".   This is when you think of things that are yet to happen which may never happen at all.  Og sa binisaya pa, gauna imong huna-huna.  (In Visayan, you are thinking ahead.)..  hehehe...

http://www.theoutsourcingcompany.com/blog/entrepreneurship/how-to-overcome-worry-and-anxiety/

Now I have to admit.  I am guilty of this.  So Guilty, with a capital G, hehehe... I am such a worrier that sometimes I get headaches just by worrying.  I can worry about anything, actually.  I don't know why.  As much as I want to avoid worrying, I can't seemed to help it.  It feels like it's an involuntary muscle, just doing its things without my permission. hehe...

I worry over things that might happen.  I create scenarios in my head.  Get stressed with the scenarios.  And when the actual thing comes, the scenarios I create in my head did not happen.  As an example, whenever I need to confront someone over something, before I go to her or him, my mind would play dialogues like I am already making a conversation with the concerned person.  And most likely, I create negative conversations.  Then I get stressed out.  But, when the time comes that I get to talk to him and say my first line, his answer would not be the same as what I imagined it would be.  So, the conversation, the dialogues, would be different from what I created in my mind. 

I worry about what other people would think with what I do, what I wear, what I say.   Sheesh.  Like I owe them something in my life to let me worry about what they think.  It's really such a ridiculous thing to do.  Yet, I am doing it. 

I don't know why I am such a worrier.  Probably I got it from my father. He is such a worrier too.  I grew up with him always worrying about things. 

When I got married, the worrying turned into jealousy.  Yikes!  Another bad thing.  Tsk tsk tsk.   But I have to say, Pat has been a blessing to me.  He is the very opposite of me.  He never worries about situations.  He always assesses them first before making a decision.   From time to time, he helps me overcome my worrying mind.   Whenever I have confusing thoughts, I ask his advice.  He always reminds me not to think of things that are yet to come for most likely, what I am thinking won't happen.  He's say to just let things come and see what happens.  Sometimes, we make option A, option B. hehehe...   

For some time now, I have been doing my best to avoid worrying.  There are times when I start to worry, I remind myself to stop it.  I pray and shake my head (literally!) to get rid of the worry thoughts. 

It really do feels good not to worry.  You'd feel light.  Relaxed. No heavy heart.  No headaches. 

"Worrying is like a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere."  I forgot who said this but this is so true.   You can spend all day worrying.  But that's all you'll ever be doing.  You won't accomplish anything by doing it.  All you'll get is headache. Which could eventually lead to illness as your immune system would be down due to stress.

And when you worry, it means you don't trust God.  We live in a world where we believe there is someone much greater than us.  Much bigger than our problems and worries.  As I am such a worrier, I am guilty of this.  Sometimes I forget to give to God my worries and let him worry about them, so I can do other things that are productive.  Like, finally start my dream business which I have been postponing for many years now due to worrying.  :-) 

So, as a second rule, Don't Worry.  Be happy.   :-)


- - - - - -
For this blogpost series, I am supposed to tag 5 people so they may also write something about the topic. And learn from them also.   God bless everyone.

Anna Oposa |  ANNAlysis
Eileen Campos |  Possibly Pinay
Aileen Apolo-de Jesus | An Apple A Day
Berniemack Arellano  | Habagat Central 
Arlene Collado |  Joys in Life 

Rule 1 : Never Hate

What is hate?

According to Thinkexist.com, Hate is

  -  a strong aversion coupled with desire that evil should befall the person toward whom the feeling is
     directed;  intense dislike;  detestation
  -  to be very unwillingly, followed by an infinitive, or substantive clause with that;  as "to hate to get into
     debt", "to hate that anything should be wasted

http://unroughness.wordpress.com/category/basketball/

Based on the first definition, hate is definitely a very strong negative word.    And yes, I say, one should Never Hate.  As this creates a negative vibes in one's spirituality.  But one can be angry (or dislike) at something or someone.  As a human being we have all sorts of emotions.  But hating someone or something is not a good thing to have in one's life.  With hatred in your heart, you will be carrying a heavy heart.  This will give you stress.  And funny thing about it is, when you hate someone, most likely, he doesn't know you hate him.  Or he doesn't care you hate him.  So, who's in the losing end?  You.  

Personally, I Never Hate.  I dislike, yes.  I get angry, yes.  Of course!   But I never get to the point that I Hate.  Hate for me is the highest level of bad emotions, specially, hating someone.  It's like, when one hates, there's no turning back.   And I don't remember saying that I hate something or I hate someone in my life.
I may dislike some people, but I never say I hate them.  When they came into my life, they somehow made a difference.  Each people we encounter in our day to day activities is with a purpose.  If we can see that in every person we meet, we would Never Hate someone.  Even those who have hurt us, somehow, if we take it positively, would make us a stronger person.  There are always lessons to be learned.

Some people say they hate themselves. 

 

http://www.backtalkk-lyts.com/emo.php

But again, this is not good.  Even the worst.  I usually just say, I don't like what I feel about this or about that.  I don't like how I feel or how I think.  But not that I hate myself.   When you hate yourself, you will have given up everything about you.  Which could result to low self-esteem.  Wrong decisions in life.  

Some statements that people usually say :

"I hate it when it rains." 

"I hate it when people talk behind my back."

"I hate it when I have to fall in line in the grocery."

And so many others.  But, I think, these statements are used most likely as just...  a statement.  They probably used the Hate word as an expression of just not liking something.  Because you really can't hate the rain.  We need rain.  You really can't hate the people who talk behind your back.  It's none of your business if they talk behind your back.  You really at times have to fall in line in the grocery store if you are buying something.  In other words, you can't get away with these things.  There are some things you just can't control.  And you can't hate things you have no control of.   It won't do you any good, anyway.


When you Hate, in the true sense of the word, you won't have Peace of Mind.  Just hearing his or her name would get into your nerves, more so when you see him or her.  You will be like a walking bomb.  Ready to explode.   So NEVER HATE. 



- - - - - -
For this blogpost series, I am supposed to tag 5 people so they may also write something about the topic. And learn from them also.   God bless everyone.

 Anna Oposa |  ANNAlysis

Eileen Campos |  Possibly Pinay

Aileen Apolo-de Jesus | An Apple A Day

Berniemack Arellano  | Habagat Central  

Arlene Collado |  Joys in Life 

So, What Makes You HAPPY?

This has been the questions of many to people whom they see as happy.  And it makes me wonder why they ask.  Aren't they happy themselves? Well, probably, they aren't.

So, what makes one HAPPY?  

http://ahomeschooledteenager.blogspot.com/2010/08/church-special.html

I've come to make this blog post when one of the members of the Iligan Bloggers Society, Inc., shared a link in Facebook to the post of another member about a "7 Rules To Be Happy"  and some of the other members gave their comments.  And then a challenge was started to write something about it, instead of just commenting on the thread.

The 7 Rules to be Happy, as posted by Explore Iligan 9200 in Facebook are as follows :

1.  Never Hate

2.  Don't Worry

3.  Live Simply

4.  Expect Little

5.  Give a Lot

6. Always Smile

7.  Best of all Stay in Love

These are, in my opinion, rules that when one really thinks about it, are somehow interconnected to each other.  You can't seem to have one without the other.  Like say, when you are always In Love, you Never Hate, you Give a Lot,  and you Always Smile.  When you Live Simply, you Don't Worry.  When you Give a Lot, you Expect Little.  

As there are 7 rules, I will make 7 blogpost for this topic.  And make it a "What Makes You Happy? series.  First on the series would be Rule 1 : Never Hate.    :-)